☆．．·° 幻 生 幻 影

                                                         Shall we love in a summer’s day …

                                                         Thou art more likeable and familiar …

                                                         Our hearts are pounding together across the coffee table …

                                                         Watchin’ each other…. Feelin’ each other …

                                                          Everything is frozen in the time of peace ….

                                                          Breathin’ the air of comfort and happiness ….

                                                          Make us realize we’d be together …

                                                          Shall we love in a summer’s day …

                                                          Thou art more comfortin’ and sweet …

                                                          Enjoyin’ the spiritual joy … though the physical hardness …

                                                          Make me realize the greatness and unselfishness of love …

                                                          Aquarium throws us into the innocence and simplicity of happiness ….

                                                          Tapas …. Our beloved restaurant …. is the cradle of our love …

                                                          The essence of our love is purer than anything …

                                                          Shall we love in a summer’s day …

                                                          Thou art more original and transparent …

                                                          Ridin’ the wooden horses of promises and hopes …

                                                          We are still what we were … love like the first moment

                                                          Our love finally spines us together ….

                                                          At this moment, nothin’… matters ….

                                                          As long as we love …. The summer would be eternal …

                                                                                          Things last …

                                                                                                 Summer remains ...

                               It’s not about ….

                               It’s all about ….

                              It’s nothin’ about ….

                             What else is it about ….

                               About life…. About career…

                         About family…About feelin’…….

                      All about those abouts…

                                Life is goin’ on with those abouts….

                           Drownin’ in the water of abouts…..

                        My savior … more abouts…

                                                  Words are wordless…

                                                  Minds are mindless…

                                                  Cares are careless…

                                                  Fruits are fruitless…

                                                  Tastes are tasteless…

                                                  Holdin’ the capsule of love

                                                  Thought it’d heal if swallow

                                                   I pause… stay put…

                                                   How could I ignore my poundin’ heart…

                                                   Heart for the one in my life…

                                                   I hang … hang for the final moment as I wished…

                                                   The moments….

                                                   Words are becoming’ words…

                                                   Minds are answerin’ minds…

                                                   Cares are for cares…

                                                   Fruits are bearin’ fruits…

                                                   Tastes are enjoyin’ tastes…

                                                   Life is finally makin’ sense…

                                                   All…cuz of love…

                                                   Within us…

                                                                                                               Will (DS)

                                                                                                                6/13/08

At this moment, My minds are loaded with ideas and thoughts… but couldn’t sort by order. I try to think… I try to stop… I try to yell… I try to ignore… I try to laugh… I try to cry… I try all the tries… Finally… I still try to love. Cuz this is the only thing I don’t have to fake. God smiles when you’d be you. And that’d be me…still persistin’… for the lovin’ life.

In retrospect, two stuffs hv been my companies ever since the very beginin’… A movie and a song. They guide me to where I am and where I will be in future. I regard life is about a movie and a music…. The movie is the story of life… The music is the melody of life.

The Story of Life --- The Family Man

The Family Man has been deeply rooted in my philosophy of life and love which guided me in decision makin’… especially the one which comes down to relationship The longin’ for an eternal love makes me an idealist… an idealist is willin’ to pay any cost in order to reach the happiness of love. Love is about decision makin’.. especially when love still exists. I’ll always do whatever I can to make it last… cuz I know it’d never return after it’s gone. So for me it’s not about second chance I offer…it’s about as many chances as possible… just cuz of love.

Jack and Kate were college lovers in the first scene… Facin’ the crossroad of love and career, Jack still chose leavin’, cuz he knows it’d be easier for him to gain courage in career instead of love. The first scene embodies a lotta stuffs in the current life. Love doesn’t come easy, it’s easier to say love, but it’s always hard to stick to love… especially it is connected with personal destiny, future career, family influence etc. In this case, love takes courage to face reality… Eternal relationship is a great triumph of love over reality.

By choosin’ to leave, Jack was makin’ a decision which a lotta ppl would also do. After yrs of efforts and dedication in career, he became the person he wished…and led a life he dreamt. He remained blind to his ignorance of love and spiritual emptiness. The surface of his life is wealthy and respectful… the fancy Ferrari, a luxurious apartment, constant casual relationships and recognizable social prestige. But the essence of his life is hollow and ignorant… cuz life is not about how you look…it’s about how you feel at a certain time.

An angel offered him a glimpse which he was going to discover another aspect of life by makin’ a different decision 13 yrs ago. Then he started to witness the journey of love and family, which ultimately let him realize he missed the most beautiful things in his life due to the decision makin’. While his life was getting’ back to NY, he was determined to find Kate… cuz he wanted to make it up to it. Ironically, he was askin’ Kate to stay this time just like what Kate did 13 yrs ago. In the very endin’ of this movie, Kate only agreed to have a cup of coffee with him. A lotta audiences think it’d be better if the kids showed up and they returned to that old house in New Jersey. The fact is …. Cuz of the choices he made 13 yrs ago, he missed those precious things in life. The endin’ is very realistic and bitter-sweet.

I always could find the revelation between my life and the family man. And the followin’ quotes from the family man guide me in love and relationship.

I choose us.

The plan doesn’t make us great, what we have together, that’s what makes us great.

Never screw up the best thing in life just because you are a little uncertain about who you are.

Can you imagine a life where everything was just easy? Where you ask for things people just bring them to you? 

I wonder about what kinda life I would have had if I hadn’t married you. Then I realize I’ve just erased all thing things in my life 

that I’m sure about. You and the kids.

J: Don’t you see? I am talkin’ about us finally havin’ a life that other people envy.

K: Oh, Jack. They already do envy us.

You know, I think about the decision you made. Maybe I was being naive, but I believed... that we would grow old together in this 

house, that we'd spend holidays here and... have our grandchildren come visit us here. I had this image of us all gray and wrinkly, 

and me... working in the garden, and you repainting the deck. But things change. If you need this, Jack, if you really need this, 

I will take these kids from a life they love, and I'll take myself from the only home we've ever shared together... and I'll move 

wherever you need to go I'll do that because I love you. I love you, and that's more important to me than our address. I choose us.

I sing to you, not all the time, but definitely on special occasions.

We’ve dealt our shares of surprises and made a lotta sacrifices, but we stayed together.

You are a better person that I am, It made me a better person to be around you.

I know we could both go on with our lives, and we’d both be fine. But I’ve seen what we could be like together. And I choose us.

Pls Kate, one cup of coffee, you can always go to Paris, just pls… not tonite.

The Melody of Life --- The Rose

Love is destined to be a rose. A rose could be felt by anyone, but could only be owned by the lucky and strong. Facin’ the distraction of life and changes, u have to be lucky and strong enough to gain ur love. Wherever I am….whatever I am goin’ through… the rose is always the faith to continue in my life… cuz I know in hard times…. As long as I stick to it…. One day, I’ll grow my beautiful rose… the eternal rose…

                                 我又要走回那条曾经的但又变得生疏的街边

                                 爱的回忆贯穿了街道的中央但又无情的把你我分到了两侧

                                 你走在对面让我已无法感到存在… 爱的存在

                                 我只有咬紧牙关背负着记忆努力前行… 甩掉…

                                 爱又怎能甩掉…

                                 你在我心中的位置...

                                                                             我似乎在停留... 又似乎在追赶... 对面的曾经的她...

                                                                             爱的沉淀已让我们变得平行... 平行在街道的两侧...

                                                                             你我是否还能交会...

                                                                             我视而不见周围的事物... 恐这条平行线伸向未知的远方...

                                                                             爱让我在这个深夜看到朋友们一对对幸福的样子...

                                                                             你的空白... 使我的心已经冰冷到极点...

                                                                             我不刻意... 不强求... 一切过去... 只有努力...

                                                                             爱的永恒可能就在那个尽头...

                                                                             而你又会在哪里...

                                                                             一切随缘

Serving in life

I used to view life as different periods which I constantly feel delighted or devastated under different circumstances. Since I watched the video that night, I’ve given a second thought about my ideology and re-examined the purpose of life. It has shed some lights upon the mission which has been given by god. What on earth am I here for? When I sip a tin of soda… When I take a mouthful bite on a piece of pizza… When I lay my head on the pillow… I keep on askin’ myself, isn’t life supposed to be more than this? All those temporary satisfaction didn’t and won’t make me feel fulfilled. I am just existin’…not livin’. In order to find a purpose of livin’..we have to serve and influence others by usin’ the gift which is given by god. I start to believe we all could change the world, we all matter to the history, we all bring significance in life at different levels no matter how small it may be. Serving and being a part of great, that’s the purpose of life.

Elevated in love

I have landed on the planet for 24 yrs, this has been the very first time I felt the spiritual interaction of love. I’ve got a lot of reasons to be grateful to god especially the existence of her. If god were my savior, she would be my lifetime companion in the process of healing and serving. In spite of all those differences between us, our faith in love is undefeated. I know we both have to travel long and challenging roads, but I’ll hold and lead you to where we belong.

Remember the day I held you in my arms and read this poem to you. Hereby this poem for ya again…. Hope u could feel my voice within it, my darling.

William Shakespeare - Sonnet #18

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And oft' is his gold complexion dimm'd;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:

But thy eternal Summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;

Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

My favorite verse from Peter O’Toole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHwI-ra05pM

                                                                                               When we….

                                                                                                I will…

                                                                                                Long for…

                                                                                                Lost…

                                                                                                Ing…

                                                                                                And…

                                                                                                Move on…

                                                                                      Vanish in possession

                                                                                                                 Alert in absence

                                                                                      Drench in anticipated scenario

                                                                                                                 Awake in undeniable reality

                                                                                      Elevate in the aromatic flash of company

                                                                                                                 Diminish in the vague eternity of loneliness

                                                                                      Fortunately… Still got the twinkle in my eyes

                                                                                                                 Eyes for impeccable pursuit

                                气味被吹走…

                                     味道被冲淡了…

                                     图片被封存了…

                                     一个痛苦与寻觅的开始…

                                     一个疲倦与深思的结束…

                                     在我xx岁的那年…

                                     经历了我一生难忘的2007

                                                                                      07年的我是蓝色的…

                                     年初的我因为失去…

                                     伤心过… 抱怨过… 憎恨过…

                                     更低落过…

                                     在众人的眼里…

                                     更是从未有过的暗淡和悲伤…

                                                                                       07年的我是金色的…

                                     一种失去代表着一种收获…

                                     我体会到了人生的另一个侧面…

                                     在寻觅和解脱中…

                                     我学会了用心去感受和享受生活…

                                                                                      Audio Diary….  Photograph…

                                     见证我一年的心路历程…

                                                                                      07年的我是绿色的…

                                     我喜欢的颜色…

                                     我开始去留意身边的人…

                                     用心去体会那些人对我的好…

                                     在低落中是他们给予我安抚和动力…

                                     每一个场景我都会铭记在心…

                                     当我举起杯子去感谢New Yr Party的volunteers时…

                                     我强忍着自己的眼泪…

                                     因为我知道我是在感谢他们对我过去一年的帮助…

                                                                                      07年的我是红色的…

                                     她走进了我的生活…

                                     我喜欢把她比作天使…

                                     她的降临让我感到了上帝对我的眷恋…

                                     净化了我世俗和物质的生活…

                                     幸福的18… 我收到的每一封信… 那条scarf…

                                     尽管我们以后会遇到比别人更多的问题…

                                     但我发自内心的希望… 我们能一直走下去… 一直…

                                                                                         07年的我是多彩的…

                                      经历过了不同颜色的照射… 不同光亮的衬托…

                                      更加的了解了自我… 了解了生活…

                                      如果说07更多是用心去感知和体会的一年…

                                      而08则应是行动的一年…

                                      去面对挑战… 坚定信念… 达成目标…

                                      希望当…. 08年末时…. 我同样会如此的审视所经历的一年…

                                      祝身边所有的人…. 2008顺利 ~~~

                        无意识的拿起一本书….

                           无意识的听起了已放下很久的Norah Jones的专辑….

                           无意识的躺在了床上….. 放下了那本自己根本就没有专心看的书…..

                           无意识的想到….. 想到…..

                                                           一个寒冷并内心冷却到极点的冬日….

                           一个人坐在轻轨列车里…. 穿梭在这个城市的两端…..

                           一个人矗立在站台….. 踩着每次一直等车的记号…..

                           一个人走进列车…. 坐在窗旁…. 看着那些从窗外掠过的风景….

                           一个人享受着那种在音乐声中的憧憬和回忆.

                           一个人…. 窗外的图片… 我的凝视…. Norah Jones的Jazz….

                           一个人的感觉….

                                                               12月的主题是生日…. 一些人的礼物…. 一些人的祝福… 一些人的真心

                           我的感动…. 一丝的忧伤…. 回忆的多彩….

                                                               12月的主题是Xmas…. 购物中心外的圣诞树…. 酒吧和室外的狂欢….

                           我的独自徘徊…. 麦当劳的takeout….. 晚10点的入睡…. 我的Blue Xmas

                                                               12月的主题是New Yr Party…. Party喧闹的狂欢…. 抬头观赏的焰火….

                           我疲惫的身体….. 狂欢中的消失…. 默默的祈祷…..

                           新一年的到来…..  

                           新的轮回…..